Feelings of shame can be thought of as a byproduct of threats to social bonds. Shame serves the function of enforcing constraints on individuals regarding what is deemed socially appropriate. Shame also forces us to be pulled outside ourselves as we try to judge ourselves from an externalized perspective
Generally speaking, when people talk about grief, the first thing that comes to mind is the death of a loved one. However, grief can also non-death related issues such as: divorce, mental, or physical, illness, addiction, unemployment, or incarceration. The trouble one often runs into and dealing with non-death weighted grief is that they are not often recognized openly by society at large
Stuckness is a byproduct of trauma. Stuckness “occurs each tim.e we encounter a situation that our current adaptations cannot make sense of or handle meaningfully.” (Petriglieri, 2007, p187). The situation itself is an emotional hot potato. There is something that we fear and naturally avoid. However, avoidance accomplishes nothing, So what is the first step? Learning to accept the unacceptable…
The most infuriating aspect of stuckness for me is when I know what I need to do but I simply can’t bring myself to take that next step. The idea of doing so brings about insurmountable fears. So I go through life pretending there is no problem. Until confronted with something that triggers a bad memory & my body registers the situation as threat (even when there is none). The body is keeping the score, and the memory of our trauma is alive within us (Van Der Kolk, 2014). Ignoring it accomplishes nothing
As I establish this blog, it is my desire to sort through everything that comes with a late diagnosis of autism and ADHD. As I have stated before, this changes everything about everything. There are many things that now make sense. I see a series of missteps in life as symptoms of undiagnosed neurodivergency. I no longer characterize my being in the world as a negative personal failing.